Tuesday, February 28, 2012


Abhimanyu looked across the table and faced the beautiful woman sitting opposite to him. With an increasing sadness, he realized he couldn’t recognize that person anymore - time had drifted them apart and turned the girl he loved into a stranger.

Her features hadn’t changed - the cute stub of her nose, her full, pink lips, the gentle curves of her cheekbones, the soft creamy skin, the wide, intelligent forehead, and best of all - her deep brown eyes…

Yet, her beautifully carved lips weren’t smiling, her face wasn’t animated, and her eyes had no expression…

He looked at her long, pale fingers unthinkingly stir the coffee, her mind aloof, seeing things he possibly couldn’t in those dark, brown depths. Frustration, anger and pain wrecked him till he was reduced to shreds and felt like screaming, “Who are you and what have you done to my Krittika?”

Instead, he said lightly, “It’s getting cold”

She looked up and stared at him as if she was noticing him for the first time.

With a pang Abhimanyu realized that they were the eyes of a stranger; there wasn’t even an  hint of the Krittika he knew in those familiar almond shaped eyes. How they used to enthrall him, bring him joy in his times of despair, had taught him to see the sheer beauty of life, of the things around them... how they taught him to LOVE…

He was 8 when they had shifted to a new neighborhood. It was different from the last one; it was less noisy and he had plenty of space in the garden to play. He had been literally pushed out of their new home to keep him out of the way and so he had relented to make mud pies at one corner of their garden. Spaceship, he had told himself, looking at the shapeless mass of dirt and mud. Invisible aliens were just flying in it for him, when a colorful ball came from the adjoining compound and landed on his precious creation. 

In a second, the wonderful images in his mind, of extraterrestrial creatures, had been reduced to dust; in this case, a more shapeless mass than before. He looked furiously around him when a small, round face with two large pigtails peeped in shyly from his garden gate. Gaining courage on seeing a kid of her own age, she had come forward shyly, her large, dark eyes searching for what could only be her ball. She spotted it on the ruined creation in question and her eyes widened even more. Looking into her eyes, he could clearly read her apology. Before she could open her mouth to say sorry, Abhimanyu took a lump of mud in his hand and threw it on her pretty face. He felt a mixture of guilt and vindictive satisfaction as he saw his aim hit the target. She stood silent for a minute before bursting into tears and sobbing her way home.

Her dark eyes haunted him the entire night. They kept flashing on his mind and though he tried to convince himself in a childish way that what he had done was right, he didn’t succeed. He kept remembering her small, round face, and the way her long pigtails reached a second before she did, and the way her eyes looked when they saw the damage she had done.

His conscience kept pricking him and the next day; he hung over his side of the wall the entire morning, waiting for her come out of her house. When she did in the afternoon, he  ventured to the other side, a ‘sorry’ card hidden in his pocket. She looked with apprehension at the garden gate opening and her eyes narrowed when she saw it was him. He went forward shyly till they were faced to face, an awkward silence stretching between them. Then abruptly, he took the card from his pocket and handed it to her. SORRY it said, in large, unbalanced words and rich, pastel coloring. A beautiful smile graced her lips and she asked “Is this for me?”

He nodded. “Thaanks,” she had drawled in a cute, high pitched voice. And then offering her hand said, “Friends?”

He had taken her hand then without thinking, without planning, without knowing he would never be able to let go of her again…

“Oh… you mean the coffee,” she said presently, bringing him out of his reverie. Abhi nodded faintly, not knowing what to say.

“You must be thinking I have become so dumb” Krittika said, a shadow of her old smile lingering on her lips.

Before Abhimanyu could even think of reacting in a suitable manner, she stood up abruptly and said “I have to leave now Abhi. I have… I have some important work back home”

He watched her pick up her purse, draw her chair back silently; keeping the hundreds of emotions that crashed him at bay. As she was about to leave, he couldn’t help himself “I heard what happened”

And I still can’t believe it, he wanted to add. Her husband dying in an air-crash, only child being born dead, months spent getting over depression and yet the ghosts of pain still haunted her young face, making it age ten years more. He wished he had been there when she needed him the most. But he was too busy with his glory, a proud young officer; too busy to find out about his heart he had left back with her... the heart which ached at her indifference now...

He was surprised as she turned to face him in a single fluid motion, her graceful neckline bent his way and he saw a flash of anger in her eyes that he knew only too well.

“So this was the point of this cozy chit-chat after all these years Abhi? To extend your sympathies to me?” she flared, her voice trembling. Abhimanyu saw her proud chin shoot up in the air, the poise of her graceful body and the disarming vulnerability of her anger.

She is still the same, he thought, brave and proud... battling for everything in her life.

Yes, she was still the same Krittika he had left 12 years back for joining the Army.

It was their last evening together. They cycled silently to their favorite bench overlooking the Godavari and leaned on the small iron railing.

“Don’t be scared Abhi”, she whispered, taking his hand in hers. He gripped it tightly, wishing he could never let go of her.
“You see that?” she said, pointing to the setting sun, “Today, everything seems like the end, like there is no light in our lives. But when the sun rises up, you would see everything with new eyes Abhi - a new day, with new light, a new beginning,” she smiled, her beautiful eyes beckoning him to join her too. He hugged her, burying his face in her soft hair and murmured, “I will miss you.” She laughed flippantly and said, “Just come back soon!” but her eyes spoke of a different story.

I have come back Krits, Abhimanyu thought, and I remember every part of the lore we left unsung.

But… do you?

He looked at her and said gently “You know I didn’t mean that.” He watched the fire in her eyes die down as suddenly as it had sprung.

Casting her eyes down, she said “I know…”

She turned to leave again, and this time he didn’t have any reason to stop her.

The sunrise for him had happened back then, and he had come back to see his life unfold into a beautiful evening,  only to realize that his love was left in the dreams of his night and he couldn’t bring it back. The sun had set.

He watched her brisk footsteps die down as they reached the big window overlooking the sea.

A gasp escaped from her lips as she looked at the scene outside. The sun was setting.

Abhimanyu approached her silently and stood beside her, each lost in their own thoughts.

Memories, endless memories wrecked him - pebble throwing competitions in the serene Godavari, the endless dips they had taken there, eating peanuts from newspaper cones, lying on the sand and watching the moon, feeding small kabootars from their hands, racing each other on the sandy shores, doing homework together, watching stupid rom-coms she was crazy about, sending secret messages through each other’s windows, discussing school, hearing her rant about her friends and then realizing the actual depth of their friendship as they grew older; only… it had turned into love for him.

“Do you remember?” he asked her.

“Of course I do” she replied softly, her voice holding the undercurrent of stronger emotions.

With satisfaction, Abhimanyu noticed that this was a voice he knew, he remembered from the past; it was a Krittika he loved, not some bitter stranger.

It seemed natural enough for him to take her hand in his then, and she didn’t protest as his fingers found her cold ones. 

After a while she gripped them tighter than he had that day.

They stood together in silence, holding hands, watching the sun set.

There is indeed no light,
The nights sing of dark.
My world has reached its end
Show me hope with a spark.

Make me yours if I don’t belong
Let’s complete this unsung song
Time and fate had set us apart
But it’s not late to make a new start”

Yes, the sun had set, thought Abhi, but will it rise for them again?

And as Krittika leaned her head on his shoulder, he couldn’t help but think, “I hope it does. Oh! I hope it does…”

In the sun that set
Their minds fear the darkness
Hope shines like sun rising


PS: Antara and Sattu, please no raised eyebrows over the characters :P you know my obsession :P 
Thank you Leo for editing the story and for the valuable feedback :)

Saturday, February 25, 2012


Photo taken from Here

Beloved spring,
will you reach my garden gate
before the storm?

Written for Haiku Heights where the prompt this week is Spring

Friday, February 24, 2012

In nature's arms...

Photo taken from here

Can I sleep here
in this quiet bower
listen to your breeze
sing a lovely tune?
so tired of electronic hums
screaming in my ears...

Can I breathe here
in this peaceful dream
float awhile
 in your smiling waters?
so tired of reality
crushing me beneath tears...

Can I live here
in this breathtaking green
become just
 a blade of grass you sheath?
so tired of love's burden
caging me with my fears...

I  just need
 a moment with you
can you take my tears
in your bubbling brook?
I need just a place to cry,
a place where
 I can close my eyes
and dream of sweet nothings.
and escape from myself
to become a part of you..

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

BIRTHDAY WISHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I have NO idea where and how to start this post. So I think it would be better if I directly come to point.
So the point of this post is to wish my most awesome and beautiful friend Antara a very happy, happy Birthday!
OK, so I KNOW that in these few months, nothing is 'happy' for a 12th class student, especially the ones whose parents bring in new application forms everyday :P but still a birthday is a birthday and especially if it is an EIGHTEENTH birthday!!

Oye Antara cholbe yaar! Voting rights this year!! oho, kya baat!
and you can have an independent bank account, and a driving licence, and you know, hang out with a a big purse under your arm and coolly draw out an ATM card :P :P
I know ki tujhe lag raha hai ki ye ladki kya bakvaas kar rahi hai, but i KNOW ki at present you are grinning like an idiot so mera thoda sa bakwaas chalta hai nai?? :P

I didnt know what else i could have done to wish you a Happy Birthday and i hope this is OK. Tere ghar do din pehle hi gayi to phir se tapak ke nahi pad sakti thi to give you a "18 thumps" on your back.
(vaise bhi main tujhe maarti to tu mujhe ulta hi marti. tu to mujhe aise hi bina matlba ka marti rehti hai :P :P :) :P)

So, i thank you for being this great friend to me- total fun, total crazy(like me), totally caring and oh yes... so amazingly beautiful (don't blush! and don't say TU kya bol rahi hai haan, TU?? :P :P)

Thank you for everything you have given me, for accepting me as your friend with my glitch in the head and all that :P for the long hours you spent talking with me, for the half-mad times we had together, for the ENDLESS fun we had in Bani mam's tuition, for captivating me with your beautiful poems and lovable rants and amazing photography, for trusting me in the most bitter incident of my life, for hugging me when i more than needed the warmth, for listening to ME rant and not minding in the least, for encouraging me, for calling the people who hurt me bitches and ahem... :P, for filling me up with your school gossip, for the common animosity we share against a guy whose name starts with a BIG S and ends with a BIG J and whose middle name is nothing but 'ego' :P :P, for the CRAZY mails we send each other(kya BAKWAAS karte hain yaar hum dono),for scolding me when i get a bit TOO formal :P :P...
For sharing with me the enthusiasm over hot guys and cool music, for pinching me very tightly when a hot dude passes by, for the awesome time we had on Diwali and on Christmas, for reading my first(and last) 'Abhimanyu-Krittika' wala love story,for lending me books from your ENORMOUS collection, for the discusssions we have over books, music, over PEOPLE who more or less steal or books :P, and yes, for the HILARIOUS time we had eating Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beams and almost puking over the earthworm flavored one!!
Haha!! main to tujhe smell dekh ke hi boli acha nahi hoga. And you were trying so damn HARD to make me eat that vomit flavored one!!
oh... sorry, i got distracted from my list :P kahan thi main??
For ummm... being equally mad about pretty notebooks, especially the ones with yellowed pages that has such an incredible feel(that reminds me, tujhe mera ek notebook dikhana padega :P), for gossiping like old maids, for the times you made me blush over a CERTAIN incident that happened with me and of which you(AND Sattu maharani) fantasied to an extent that got my face BURNING :P :P, for the amazingly warm laugh you have and ofcourse, the beautiful eyes :)
I am very lucky to have a friend like you... and you know i said i was afraid to go college and you asked why... Maybe its because I'm scared, very much scared that i wont get friends like you, or sattu who would hold my hand through EVERYTHING and make me believe everything is for the best...and care for me and love me...
I will miss you like hell Antara, I cant even explain how much... cant even express how much you mean to me... what your friendship means to me... what these times we had together mean to me...
can you believe I am having a lump in my throat right now?? Silly me... :)

OK, emotional atyachaar band karti hun, varna shayad mujhse baat vaat karna chor degi :P
Happy Birthday OK?? accept this as my gift to you. I will get you a proper one later :P
and I umm...I wanted to dedicate a song to you. The first thing that came into my head was this-

I am not the crazy Hannah Montana fan i used to be in class 7-8 but in many ways, i still love this song... i love the lyrics and the way she sings it... and this song would express it better what i wanted to say :)

Bas aur kya (dekhi mera pagal panti, itna BADA post bane ke bol rahi hun 'Bas aur kya' :P)
Happy Birthday once again...
what to say...

TREAT DE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have started writing on a new site Expin.me and here are few of my stories there-




LOLing :P
yours ever
Kirti :)

Saturday, February 18, 2012


Photo taken from Pixdaus

Floating in air 
like a colorful drop, is
joy an illusion? 

Written for Haiku Heights

Friday, February 17, 2012

A moment, forgotten...


I turned her down with a vehemence
snipped every chord of her heart
glued insistently to my own.
Rebuked her, repelled her
away from the field of my life;
who was she to claim my soul?

But why does her heart still beat with mine?
why do i see her tears in every rainfall?
why do i hear her laugh in the silent breeze?
why do her memories still haunt my dreams?

I left her love in a moment forgotten didn't I?
chose to be blind to all the joy she gave me
and just dwell on the recent bitter times...
Then why does my heart crave for a glimpse of her?
why these clenched fists when she's in the arms of another?
I had left her love in a moment forgotten afterall...
Did I?

Thursday, February 16, 2012



In glistening drops
emotions unveil, for rage
to me is but tears... 

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


DAY-5 (Special)

Broken like pieces from celestial stars
Engulfed in misery stabbing like shards
Trust is lost in the abyss of lies
Reality is staggered as the truth is denied
Armour of strength lies broken on the ground
Y me? is the only echoing sound
Emptiness drags in a hearth of pain
Diary's comfort is the only thing to keep sane

Tuesday, February 14, 2012



In your tottering steps,
in the sound of your tiny feet
tinkling with silver nupur
and your innocent eyes
that disarm my smile;
I see a beauty that touches
every cell of my body,
every string of my soul
and evokes a music
that echoes in my ears
with an inescapable beauty
and gives me hope
to escape my wasted body
find abode in higher realms -
where angels like you reside...

In your innocent eyes sweet Lalli,
I see a new me,
a transformed me...
without dying I have died
and reborn in the blissful shadow
of your little steps...

In your innocent eyes, sweet Lalli,
I have become the shameful tears 
you would never have shed;
I have become a new man
it took all but your little smile
to change me;
I wonder if this is reincarnation...

Monday, February 13, 2012



Picture taken from here

In your kohl-lined eyes
there lies a desire that sings
through these words I write.

Written for Haiku Heights

Warm Rain


Picture taken from here

warm rain
cascade down
my pain-kissed sad eyes;
soothe the scalded sore
thats's burning

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Smothered By Love

Photo taken from here

Your sickly sweet tongue
rasping sweet nothings 
burn my ear,
repulse my body,
make my skin crawl
till I crouch
choked by the sobs
none can see,
none can hear

I cant breathe
as your false words
caress me,
punch into my heart 
a million holes
which you fill yet again
with your selfish acts
escape is what i need
can't breathe with you above
I feel smothered by your love....

Muse given by Leo.
PS: I am leaving for a week to Rajamundry and I requested Leo, my close friend and fellow-blogger to give me a topic a day to write verses. This is the first one. Will be posting the rest after I return else a terrible threat awaits me!!

Sunday, February 5, 2012


Picture taken from here

Symphony of life
held by invisible threads
Music- where soul rests

Written for: Haiku Heights

You're still there...

Photo taken from smoshpit.com

Hold me safe in your arms 
cradle my head in your soft palms
what if you cant touch me anymore?
what if I cant see you anymore?

your essence smiles through my lips
your imprint cries with my soul
what if i cant reach you anymore?
what if you cant now see my sores?

for you're are there like the northern star
guarding my crescent moon from the eclipse
what if i cant see you breathe anymore?
what if i cant hear your voice anymore?

I can still hear your heart beat with mine,
I can still hear your heartbeat in my rhymes.
for you're still here,
with me,

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Is this what pain feels like?
then i have known NOTHING of it.
felt nothing of it
Struggling under water
in what seems like a dream
a horrible, horrible dream.
will you come and wake me from it nanamma?
will you come back
and scold me
for not washing my clothes
for not learning to cook?
for not tying my hair?
will you come back and sweep my hair out of my face
and say
"your bindi isn't big enough"?
and chastise me for becoming stylish?
for not wearing gold earrings?
for keeping my neck bare?
for wearing "boy like clothes" instead of decent salwars?
for using all my new shoes at the same time
or wear all my new clothes back-to-back?

will you come back and oil my hair and say that it is thinner than before
and that its all the effect of these "nasty smelling shampoos"?
and tell me to teach her computer so that she can waste her time like me on it too!
and watch your silly devotional serials and old black-and-white movies...
and laugh when i would dance suddenly,
smack me on my back and say "my grand-daughter is mad"?

will you come back and support me when both my parents start scolding me?
hide me in your arms and say "she is just a child nanaji"?
come back nanamma- dont leave me alone like this
i might not learn the right things again.
people may not praise me for my good-up bringing again
i may not stop crying in this cold night again
in this cold night again...

will you forgive me for the times i was rude to you?
wouldnt talk properly when i thought you were being too irritating?
will you give me a chance to apologize again?
make you smile again
make you proud again
make you happy again
like the time i wore your sari
and you said there was no one more beautiful than me?
will you be the strength of our house again?
the strong lady, with your amazing will power
and iron-like strength- invincible, unbreakable?

how could you break now nanamma?
and go away from me??
so far that i cant even hear you?
cant even see you?
come back
come back
i may not stop crying in this cold night again
in this cold night again...

cant write anymore. cant cry anymore...