Sunday, May 29, 2011

This poem was written for my brother. something made me do that. sometimes he just does something out of the blue that makes me amazed to see the extent to which he loves me. i am a perpetually introvert person when it comes to things like this and i never say what i feel like saying at the moment and anyway it would look too stupid if i really DID that; and later when i get into a fight or something i forget all about it and come back to my normal self. so i dedicate this one to my brother who i am sure NEVER reads my blog; i feel bad sometimes but its better if he doesnt see this!!! :P:P

the thing is i never GAVE it to him or showed it to him. we are never explicit about our feelings towards each other but its better this way.

Sometimes I wonder how my life would be,

If you weren’t there forever for me.
Sometimes I shudder how I would walk,
if you weren’t by my side to talk.
But no matter what my heart fears to think,
You are always there each time I blink.

Sometimes I ponder on what I would say,
If you weren’t there to keep my fear at bay.
Sometimes I think who would guide me through,
If you weren’t there as a person so good and true.
But no matter what my mind convinces me,
You are always there wherever I see.

Sometimes I wonder what I will feel,
If you weren’t there to make me real.
Sometimes I feel I would go bland,
If you weren’t there to give me courage to stand.
But no matter what, I always find in the end,
You are the BEST brother God had the grace to send.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Musing out aloud 2

Ignore the repitition of the title... i couldnt think up of anything more creative, its too hot and humid. :P :P

So the reason for my pondering- as i mentioned before, my latest obsession is  Sum 41 and i recently downloaded many many songs and i already have a lot of favourites. but then, i noticed this curious tendency of mine to switch back to "In too deep"(a particular track), the very first of sum41 i had heard and which had me blown over. It is as if I have to hear this particular song first, and then i move on to the others.

And as i was thinking that this tendency is not something i developed recently. it is always the same. when i start hearing a particular band or an artist, it is obviously starting from a specific song, that someone recommended or i stumbled upon, and i keeep on hearing to that song even after i start that band. i know, its very difficult to understand, but it is something very curious too. thinking back, i find that most of the bands i hear now, started from a specific song, that is some way still 'special' to me, mainly due to the habit of hearing it again and again.

so i thought of making a list of the 'specific' songs that make me fumble with the buttons of my mp3 player till i find it and listening to it before moving on to other favourites

1. LINKIN PARK- believe i have TOO many favs. i think i love ALL the songs of all the 4 albums but the very first i heard and that created a BANG in my world- "Leave out all the rest". i think i used to listen it about 20 times a day... :):)

2. BREAKING BENJAMIN- again too many favs. but the start up was- "The dairy of Jane"

3. BACKSTREET BOYS- "As long as you love me". simply fell mad with the song and... ummm... Nick Carter...:P:P

4. THEORY OF A DEADMAN- "not meant to be". never knew i had this track in my pc, but once i heard it, i cursed my stupidity for not discovering it earlier. after that, there was no looking back, it comfartably made into my most frequently heard.

5. COLDPLAY- "life in Technicolor"

6. LIFEHOUSE- ah.. still cant get over my obsession of the start up track "Smoke and mirrors". jason oh Jason i LOVE your voice. the nasal twist makes it oh-so-cool...(and u youself are oh-so-hot too) ok maybe i should shut up abt Jason wade... :P:P

the official video of this song hasnt been released yet. bt do hear it out...

7. Paramore- "decode"- from the twilight soundtrack.

8. Ray William Johnson- surprised people??? yeah. he is a singer too.... a rapper more like and his songs are so damn humorous, i just fall out of my chair laughing and the music is just amazing!! and its obvious only, the graph of RWJ's talent just goes on up, up and so no surprise he can rap so well....
umm... i got distracted isnt it?? if i say i love ALL the songs he has sung for his channel "Your favourite Martian song" i would be acting biased so my FAV start up song was "Club villain", just impossibly catchy music and GREAT lyrics... :):)

Just check out this song... the one i was talking abt...

9. Justin Bieber - yeah i listen to him and like the songs too. and i can find no reason to hate him or anything. good music, good lyrics and thats what is required by me. (at least he is much much better than that horrible Rebecca Black and her more HORRIBLER(ignore the incorrectness) song Friday). the very first song- "BABY"

10. Taylor Swift- "you belong with me" heard it for the first time on my radio and was blown over by the peepy music, and equally good yrics. watching the video just made me love this song more.

yawn yawn. my list of the musicians i hear is never ending but its my afternoon nap-time now so i am signing off with the hope that i will later make a continuation of this very post and add a feww more to my list.
yawn your head off!!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Tired of trollin'....:( :(

RWJ says "keep trollin'" and I faithfully follow his advice cuz well, u might have guessed by now that i am BIG BIG fan of RWJ(and if u havent, not my fault u r such an unobservant fool!!!)
see, see what boredom is doing to me?? make digs at people that too without any reason!!!

so the point is, i am NOT being able to troll the whole day.. (LOL!! :P:P) mainly cuz i have nothing to do except homework, eat, sleep and yeah well troll. Arpita has gone to Cuttack and I and Sushmita watched those stupid, sappy serials on star plus and star one. yeah i am telling you, u can even watch all THIS stuff in desperation. :P:P no kidding. but we had fun anyways, me eating achaar(well more like licking my fingers in the most UNCIVILISED manner) and she icecream. and we nearly fell out of the sofa laughing at a part where the hero sort of lifts up his head and gives a wolf like howl(oh GOD!!)  and he is supposed to be a vamp(believe me it gets worse!!) and its supposed to be a badly copied version of "Twilight"- thank you people, for ruining the story that touched me.


my latest obsession- SUM41. what an AWESOME band!!!!! i was blown over by the headbanging music!!!
In too deep is my current favourite track now. its just SUPERB!!! thanks to Aditi for getting me acquainted with this rocking music.
with Aditi i remember... she is here!!!!  yay!!! and i promised i wud visit her today. and i have THREE tuitions.(Oh Gawd!!). two over, one more to go. and that too with a horrible test on capacitance. (UGH!!)
but lets see, maybe i can squeeze out some time...

i am watching the "Epic rap battles of history" now which are created by Nicepeter(guess its his youtube name) and thanks to RWJ really due to whom i discovered them. if you havent checked it out, do see them people, they are just freakin' AMAZING!!!!!!! the one between Einstein and Stephen hawking is my favourite by far!!

im feeling sleepy now. and hungry. so going off. maybe i wud return to troll some more. or maybe i will just fall off my chair and end up in Hogwarts. stupid, stupid, stupid. such unrelated stuff i am blabbering but whts wrong in hopin???
right??? :P:P
beat and heat!! and keep trollin' :):) 

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The cold-eyed ones...

I never thought it would be this way but i am ACTUALLY enjoying writing my autobiography for the stupid English homework we got at school. The word limit was merely 1200 words; something that was finished in merely 2 and half pages of my minuscule handwriting and i think i have written 5 times of that already or probably 10 times. i have absolutely no idea. but i am having fun, and thats what matters the most.

who's gonna be my first reader??? Sushmita or Arpita i guess, but i have still a lot to write. But one thing is for sure- I m HAVING FUN!!! :):) umm i guess i said that thrice already.
i have also written like two poems in it and i thought of posting it here.

this one i wrote while describing the part of "good people, bad people and much more" about the cold-eyed, heartless people we find in plenty these days:

O cold-eyed ones!
how far will thou go?
You might reach the mountain summit,
and fan your ego for all you can;
but will you find a humane face,
smiling at you below in the sketchy span?

O cold-eyed ones!
how far will thou go?
how far will you reach your arms of torment?
how many others will you wound for your gain?
for someone is out there to pay you back,
your each work of cruelty, your each deed of pain.

O cold-eyed one!
how far will thou go?
how far will you walk in the desert alone?
Alas! the sun cant make your wasted soul burn,
for you will fall and reach out for help
only to find yourself in a sea of cold-eyed ones....

I guess, i am being too harsh, but this is the way i feel. i loathe the people who are 'fake'.
 But i particularly like this one. i think the ending is pretty good...:P:P but who knows, maybe i am just being vain!!!
keep trollin and escape the heat!!!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Blog Award

Antara(a very dear friend of mine) gave me this award of a "Versatile Blogger". thank you Antara. I really love talking and laughing with you, discussing various things and etc etc. and yeah, i also love reading your blog; you are a wonderful writer and a friend...

well i guess i have to complete all the formalities...
Guidelines for accepting this award: 
1. Post linking back to the person that gave you the award.
2. Share 7 random things about yourself. 
3. Award 15 recently discovered blogs.
4. Drop them a note and tell them about it.

so the seven random things about me:
1. i love maggi- yeah yeah i KNOW it is ridiculous to mention it here but they asked for RANDOM things and this was the first thing that came into my head. so there you are.

2. i am a pen freak-  i know its weird but there you go. i love new pens and i buy them even if i have 5-6 half-finished ones. and i honestly dont remember the last time a threw one of AFTER using up the last drop of ink in it!!

3. I dont watch TV. i dunno but i never really watched it much, except for the cartoons like Noddy and Oswald and Kipper and Pingu and Bob the builder i used to see during summer vacation at my nani's house. i was always the "nose buried in a book" types...

4. i hate physics- sorry but cant elaborate... :P:P

5. i wanna go to Italy(with my best friends)- probably becuase i have read about it many many novels and it 
thrilled me a LOT!!

6. I love the rain- it came to my mind cuz i had a very nice experience yeaterday. i m gonna make a post of it when i get that mood...:P:P

7. i love Linkin Park- and i hate the people who criticize it. so if u wanna be in my good books, i would rather if u kept your mouth shut about it... :P:P

and i pass on this award to the following people(i have recently started reading a few blogs so i dunno many):
1. My very own cousin- Anil(bava). 
he is the one who inspired me to start blogging and kept on the stream of encouragement  all the way.
2. Antara of course who awarded me in the first place and she really deserves it back.
3. Mohit- my friend who is an awesome writer and poet himself and a great friend too.

thats the only people i wanted to award. congrats!!! and thankd for the support..

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

A new morning...

I had an academically satisfactory morning today. Practiced integration, did a few exercises of 'word power made easy' and 'better spelling'(it is just another mad thing i started but come on... i need SOMETHING to keep me going these summers!!) and even with a good grace went into to do some sums from the Capacitance chapter. well i gave up after a few so i have to go and complete it properly.

so my new IMPOSSIBLE WISH today- to own a QUILL. i mean a quill like the one you see on Tagore or you read in Harry Potter. sigh. wish i could get one for a birthday gift... but its out of fashion and i wonder i would ever get it but when i am grown up and i get to visit far-flung places i will searching for a quill would be the first thing on my list.

 and i hope it turns out to be more or less like this one.

To escape from boredom a bit, i am doing what i always like to do-  watching 'most subscribed' you tube videos.
it is "Ian is bored" now. and btw next to RWJ, i love Ian. he has a beautiful voice, he makes INCREDIBLE funny videos and nost of all, i love his eyes. they are just beautiful. BEAUTIFUL...
umm guess i said that thrice already but when did i claim that i was sane?? :P:P

Anyways. did i mention that Tech market is a good-for-nothing market?? i mean i couldnt even get a SPIRAL notebook over there.. such crap.
now i cant go to gole bazar just to get a NOTEBOOK for God's sake and a notebook is something i need bad. sigh.
there is nothing more to say at present accept that it is unbearably hot over here. ughhhh...  i HATE summers.....:(:(

Monday, May 9, 2011

Musing out aloud...

Holidays have started and i am having attacks of laziness again... :P:P:P yawning, yawning, yawning all day...:P:P

right now i am trolling on the net as usual and surprisingly i am loving the ENTIRE Twlight soundtrack. i mean i never ceased saying this that the movie a bucket load of shit; it never did the justice to the epic twilight saga but i was so engrossed in finding faults with the movie that i never concentrated on the songs.(except on Leave out all the rest of COURSE) but now i find- every song is simply AWESOME and needless to say they are going to find a place in my mp3 maybe i should try on with the New moon and Eclipse soundtrack too cuz the movie crew has proved itself capable of collecting a few well-chosen and appropriate songs if not anything else..:P:P well i have to make a correctio- all songs in the Twilight soundtrack are good EXCEPT.... EXCEPT the one sung by Rob Pattinson(never think) sheeeeeeeeeeeeesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what was the guy thinking for God's sake!!! its HORRIBLE!!!! no wonder i never liked him... yuk...:P:P he looks horrible, acta horrible, sings horrible and the list goes on.... and on... and on.... :P:P

coming to the point....
i have a hell lot of homework to do now. and most surprisingly, the maximum amount is from ENGLISH.. yeah you read it right: english. well basically its 4 questions and most of my 'friends', well actually all of them; were groaning over it and i had to pretend too(sigh) but in reality english homework is the ONLY thing i like too do... and i will do it this time too...
so the tasks are:
1. write your autobigraphy in 1200 words- yeeesh!! an autobiography!! what were they thinking. i mean, come on i am hardly 16 and what the hell do i write for an autobiography?? i dont have that many life experiences that will stand out and make it an interesting read... still... i think i SHOULD work upon it and make it ummm  chapter wise ?? 5-6 chapters will do the trick. then giving it to sush and arpita for reading will end THAT.

2. read a book and write a review- this one a piece of cake for me... :):):) i have read HUNDREADS of books and i can write one from memory anytime...

3. collecting some ads from paper on 10 diff topics- huh. hardly half an hour.

4. solving the reading and writing section from the last 5 year board papers- aaaaaaargh!!!! FIVE question papers!!! FIVE!!!!! how the hell do i do that???? and it means a LOT of OFFICIAL writing. you know keeping in mind, the format and all. i HATE official writing(its a term i sort of inevented on my own to quote the things like articles, and noticees, and letter to the editors, and advertisemants and etc etc we write at school..:P:P ) well i dont think i m gonna do this but lets see it depends on my mood...:P:P

i feel fresh now... i mean i had my bath at 7:00 AM but my hair was in kinda a mess till now. now its proper.
have to go and study a bit now. and yet again i have run out of novels to read. and i am ALWAYS forgetting to return the PG Wodehouse i borrowed from Antara. i finished it like ages ago but i always forget to return it... hope i remember it this time...:P:P

Saturday, May 7, 2011

MY LIVE BLOG AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey people... i talk as is if the whole world reads my blog...:P:P but i know there is much suspense over WHAT actually is my live blog so i told sushmita to take the photos so that i can upload them...:):) so have fun!!

first- a few things... my live blog was just a chartpaper over which i used to stick lil posts till sushmita came that day and i had a sudden mad idea to make it more alive. so i did a crazy thing... dipped my fingers in white paint and in an attempt to make 'finger prints' all over- i messed the thing up...:P:P so enter the most creative friend i have and BINGO!! the thing shines up like a new penny...(well i have to admit, she had to waste a lot of time removing my stupid attempt at 'finger printing'!!!!

I hope it is really clear now why i love this so much and most of all why i value my FRIENDS so much(i mean most of them...)

looking at it never makes me cease wondering how talented my friend is...:):)

Random brush strokes.... the proof of immense craziness and fun we had that day...

the overall view of the REAL thing...:):)

The thing i called an INDECISION post... cuz in most of the part i was cursing that no pen allowed me to write directly..:P:P

Just a poem.... and a long one.... and an incomplete one... cuz i got over the thing i was feeling at that time and decided that moping over it was unecessary- the sole reason being that i found that RWJ had uploaded another video and seriously only an idiot wastes times over moping when u ccud have a blissful time laughing your head off on his humor and wit!!! so i HAD to run off that day and sit before my PC.
and the day when we both were changing the look of it, i had this sudden, mad urge to paint my initials all over the place till sush got tired of me!!

the first introductory post... i mean the very first on my live blog which will clearly tell u how mad and crazy i am... he he... the CO-ZA-ASY caption at the top was added later cuz it seemed like a suitable subtitle to it considering how mad i was after RWJ!! :P:P

the pink and green pattern was my idea... i know its crap...:P:P

 This was the second post- written immediately after the first this one i was raving over LOTR and legolas.... sigh sigh sigh... no wonder there is a nice big LOL over it!!!:P:P

the idea of the yellow zig-zag at the borders was mine... i mean we were just scribbling anything and everything everywhere and anywhere...:P:P least bothered about hoe it wud turn out... seems like it happened for the best....:):)

THIS is the EPIC one!!! i wrote the "I LOVE RWJ" and the red monster was sush's. the green embezzlement around it was all the result of the creative head she has... and i dunno wht made me write the "pitter patter" over that bubble... i think it has something to do with the glitch i have in my head...:P:P

 It sems incredible to me... we started off drawing nice, quaint lil bubbles over it... then v shifted to smilies... then to symbols of music, math etc etc... then the ACTUAL craziness started... PLONK this with red... PLONK this with bliue... PLONK this with whatever near the hand...

i really love this corner... the lovely charm was given to me Kalpana Mam bought in Shilparaman, Hyderabad and its made of paper pulp... incredible and immensely creative...
 Actually the lower half had most of the creativity cuz the uper half was already sort of covered with papers... so drawing leaves and questioning whether they were actually leaves or not was a part on insanity i showed at the bottom...:P:P

do notice the red monster-cartoon sushmita made which has 4 hands and is holding up my posts.... and also the yeallow one on the other side which somehow has a terrible face.... adn when we were admiring our work later... none of us could remember who the hell did it... LMAO...:P:P

do notice the caption- "NSK IS MAAAAAAAAAAAD" at the top. my mom saw it and said... "yeah...that i can pretty well figure out myself" :P:P

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... this wasnt my idea... sushmita sort of threatened me to post this so i m merely obliging her in return for wht she did to help me... PLEASE... i was just having FUN... :):)

this is the one i wrote after the renovation as over...

yeah... i am a bit studios too... not like  i waste ALL my time going mad...over something or the other..

The wind played its role too!!

A bit of maths found its place in my live blog too!!!

Sushmita insisted that there WAS something in my backyard worth the photography...

This is something that put in one word is word- AWESOME....

 i dunno why she took so many pictures... i wanted her's too but when the hell did anyone listen to ME??

So... this was all about my LIVE BLOG... thanks a lot to Sushmita for bringing life to it... and thanks to Arpita cuz unknowingly...u helped us too... i mean the colors and paints were mostly yours(the ones sushmita collected out of the things she was throwing away.. trust her to throw away the things others find useful :P:P)

Friday, May 6, 2011

some little things i love-2

just a continuation of the post i started that day cuz as i said, there are many little things i REALLY love...

11. little masti in between classes: started ever since i came to 11. the little conversations i and suranjana hold together on lil chits of paper when the classes become a drag...:P:P mostly callling each other funny names and with funny cartoons to go with the humorous title... today i was a deaf sleepy head and she was a tuber-filled swollen-head!!! :P:P:P

12. sneezing- yeah i KNOW i am mad... no need to insist upon that particular point... :P:P:P

13. opening my blog and seeing that someone has commented on it- call me vain but praise is sweet...:):):)

14. Talking to myself- call me insane, out of my mind, but it is something i do subconsciously(mind you i DONT TALK IN SLEEP!!!) and whatever ppl might say, it feels comforting, soothing even, it keeps my head clear and it helps a LOT. at least it works for me...

15. Playing the teacher sometimes- well i have been doing this since i was a small small kid. teaching the trees, my bedroom walls, the bookshelves is something i REALLY love and well teaching(by teaching i mean teaching english) is something i dream of in my future. i used to do it ALL the time till class 8, maybe 10 but after that it has somewhat come to a stop. i mean chem and physics are boring already. i cant afford to make them even more unbearable by teaching it to myself and maths is something i love DOING; not blabbering.
but i sometimes i take to teaching the poems but the ones in our textbook are so HORRIBLE that its a waste of energy. but whatever... i still love it...

16. MY LIVE BLOG- i just LOVE it. even more now after sushmita came and changed the very APPEARANCE of it. it looks fabulous now. now coming to the part of explaining what it actually IS. just a random idea of mine(which thankfuly took a life-form) to write not in my diary or blog but directly on a place to which i have DIRECT access. meaning i can write on it even in the  dead of the night. so BINGO- thanks to my ever-supporting mother, we together sported a black chart paper(my mom was insisting on a rolling chart but i didnt need the heavy rollers) and i make tiny posts for it with post-it stamps and other fancy parchmants and stcik it with lilltle bits of 3-sided tape. so u can imagine the breezy effect(i hope u can) most of the papers do complicated mid-air steps with only the top of them stuck to the wall and i LOVE seeing it, reading it, just knowing something soothing. freindly and familiar is out there for me just beneath my nose. my live blog is the freind i have ALL the time- even in the dead of the night.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

la la la la...

i feel like singing today.... but sadly im unable to do it, the current state my throat is in, anyone listening to it in a ten-mile radius will run away!!!!(not that i sing THAT bad...its just that i have a terrible cold and throat infection... :P:P)
dunno why though... just felt suddenly- its time i get back to my crazy self(not that anything stops ME from being crazy but still i have been quite down lately)
so i am trying to ease some of my feelings out LISTENING to music rather than singing out aloud. i was listening to Doorie by Atif Aslam just now. i realised i was listening to it after a very long, long time... i have to admit when this song was hot in release i was caught in the charm of the awesome music and heavy timber of Atif's voice but after that i gave up on it quite quickly. i also have to admit that i only like a few selected songs of Atif and it solely depends on my mood. but sometimes only for the pure pleasure of annoying Sushmita i like to drawl about how HOARSE his voice is or how HORRIBLE his songs sound somtimes... but yeah i do like him. no denying that.

so coming back to the main topic(since i strayed away from it as usual...:P:P). this song has got somewhat sweet memories of mine. actually i distinctly remember that this song went wild when i was in class 8. i mean most of my friends would go on singing it, learning the lyrics off heart(i was included in the list btw) so when i went to Delhi for Youth Parliament, this song was buzzing in everyone's mobiles and mp3 players.

when i say sweet memories, i mean it; cuz that trip to Delhi was one of the BEST in my life. i was like a kid over then and rest of the people were all bahiya's and didi's(my brother included) and being cute i guess(ugh) was a plus cuz i got readily pampered by everyone...:):):) so it was either Biswa bhaiya's mp3 player, or my brother's, or my own radio, or Ishaque mam's mobile, or anyone and evryone's belongings which had a thingcalled 'music player' and a 'speaker'.

so no wonder when i returned from there, my head was swollen twice its size with all the attention, or the fact that i knew most of Atif's songs by heart.:P:P

i could really write loads on this topic- u know my trip to Delhi, but i need proper sitting in front of the computer now, not this fltting and typing in between so a longer post on that topis is coming up later i guess.
i sometimes think i should make notes of the places i went to and the things i enjoyed only for the sake of pure fun but i am too lazy for my own good.... :P:P:P

thats that i think. i am again bored to death by this song. cant imagine why i heard it in the first place...:P:P
see?? i sway too much for my own good over these tiny matter!!!! ha ha!!! lol lol lol...:P:P

- the mad kirti at her best again!!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

some little things i love-1

I dunno what made me write this but today afternoon, when i was returning from tuition, something made me think about the tiny things that give me pleasure and i thought of penning them down..(if u call typing on the blog 'penning' :P:P) anyways- there are many many small things i enjoy but this is the list of the most recent and common ones. i may keep adding a few more as i remember...

1. my ink pen- there were two: one was a real antique one(given to me by my grandfather) with a plastic body that had little blue stars all over it and it had a metal part to its cap which i loved so much that i twiddled with it whenever i wrote and result- that part has come off loose. and it writes just FABULOUS. but the sad part it, the nib is broken and i sort of cry(inwardly) whenevr i see it. :(:(
 the second one- sattu broke it...

2. my spiral notebook- i carry it almost everywhere. it was given to me by my bro on rakshabandhan and i LOVE it. i keep on scribbling it whenever i feel like scribbling.

3. my old pair of jeans- its blue and battered but there is something about the comforting feel of it that i dont feel like giving up. so i change the topic whenever my mom raises the matter of giving it away...:P:P

4. coffee- yeah i know its very common but i dont get to drink it that often so i love sipping like a grown-up with a demure face whenevr i get a chance(which is mostly at midnight when everyone is sleeping and i sneak into the kitchen to make myself some...:P:P:P)

5. my milk mug- its cute. and childish. everyone sees it and has a laugh. calls me kid. but WHATEVER. i cant change my feelings towards it...:P:P it has a nice, cute squirrel face protruding out with its tail for the handle. i bought it in Vishakapatnam i think when i was in the 7th grade and its working for me SINCE then. i mean if i dont drink out of it at least once a day, i feel like some vital organ of my body is missing...:P:P

6. my bedroom- its not like MY bedroom, i share it with my granny(which is usually a plus) but i LOVE it.. nice big windows, nice view, my novels at a clear sight from where i sleep, nice spacious bed(i usually huddle up in a corner and sleep. my mom says 3 ppl of my size can fit into it easily), the sort of weird games i used to play(still play) inside the mosquito net... just INCREDIBLE. cant even think of leaving my home and going to college(which is sorta inevitable)

7. waking up inside warm, soft sheets on a nice winter morning- man.... the pleasurable drowsiness, the immense warmth, the incredible softness and if there is a chilly breeze going on and u bundle up a bit more inside- then there is absolutely NO MATCH for the pleasure....

8. getting up when my mom kisses me on my forehead - believe me: it just feels like you are the LUCKIEST person in the whole world... there is nothing, nothing that can match this. this usually happens when i groan and moan for getting up for school(it hasnt happened for the last 1 and 1/2 year i think) and my mom, just sits there beside me and coaxes me to get up(mind u, she has the sweetest voice in the whole world) or maybe cuddles up with me(if she has time) and then kisses me and come on... i cant pretend to be sleeping after that anymore... the aura of love is too much.. :):):)

9. the feeling of my wet hair down to my waist after a shower- it feels incredible. the silky touch, the soft wetness and the incredible way my comb slides down without an effort; hardly catching a few strands. then feeling the curls bounce on my forehead. i mean lets face it, after its dry, i can hardly wait to pull it into a bun- it feels so damn irritiating; so i enjoy the first half an hour as much as i can...:P:P

10. the wonderful feeling of sitting all alone on the small bench just in my front garden when the wind is playing with my heart and my hair- the feel of the cool breeze saturating the strands of my hair, the green green trees and shrubs dancing wildly in the wind, the leaves scattering(and there is a tree in front of my house that has some weird but beautiful sort of leaves(or seeds) which are all hollow, so in the breeze they make a huge racket but it is homey homey feeling...) little spirals of dust billowing(till they enter my eyes :P:P) and include the things in 1, 2 and 4- its HEAVEN for me....:):):)

P.S.: there are many many more things but i dont have time to post it at one go, so in fractions... :):)
- the mad kirti at her best(:P:P:P:P)

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Good people, bad people and much more....

Suddenly i like the definition of the world as given in 'My name is Khan(from the epiglottis :P:P)'. remember it?? there are only two types of ppl in this world- good people and bad people. only that y definiton of 'good' has changed(unfortunately). not everyone is good as i used to think, are they?? some are cheats, insensitive brutes, and in one word, they are BAD. one person changed this definition in just a few days and however hard i may have tried to resist, i had to accept this- one BAD person(maybe two) entered my 'friend' list.

when i say this, dont think of me as a person hand-picking ppl before making frnds, cuz i am not like that. i have this strange tendency to ignore the defects in people and give my 100% to them once i call them my 'friends' because, quoting Miley Cyrus- "nobody's perfect". so it doesnt matter to me whether one of my friends is a 'bad' for the rest of the world, i always wud see the good in him/her.

but, that tendency is somewhat battered now, thanks to that one person(who is BAD). i find much more difficulty  in trusting ppl now, again, thanks to that one person(who is BAD) but atleast, i have shed my insanity of 'blind trust' now. (again thanks to that blah blah). so basically, i am surrounded with both good and bad people but the nice part is, the masks of goodness these 'bad' people used to wear is shed now. THANKFULLY.

so maybe my definition of 'bad' is clear now. coming to the definition of 'good'. Quoting Stephanie Meyer from Midnight Sun- 'good' is an adjective to define a person which is as SIMPLE as it is RARE.
we use this word oh-so-many-times that it is difficult to keep track, but i realised one thing recently that it is really a RARE thing for someone to be simply GOOD. and goodness come to people who have a GOOD HEART. it may not seem like a big deal, but really, some people DONT HAVE A HEART, making that heart good is a matter of later consequence.

so good people for me are simply those who are considerate about others. may not seem like a big deal but it IS. believe me.just caring abt others is a hard task. and what else. that covers almost everything. when u are considerate, u are automatically caring, a bit selfless, loving(of course), understanding, helpful and u dont even THINK of hurting that person in anyway. and if u do hurt, its simply a matter of misunderstanding.

this wednesday(after my last post) i was talking to my mum(as usual) cuz despita whatever facade i wear, there was no denying that iw as felling very very guilty. cuz however i may be hurt i cant hurt anyone. but considering that the person has a hide of hippoptamus it doesnt matter...:P:P
 i said that how can anyone do such a dirty thing... i said that i was sure my brother could NEVER even THINK of hurting a girl like this. my mom nodded and said it also depends on the way you are brought up. when your parents teach u not to do anything 'bad' and u pay attention to it, u wud think a hundred times before doing any such thing.

then i realized that it doesnt really matter to me that i was surrounded by one or two BAD people cuz the no. of good people just neutralize that no. so i was grateful that i had GOOD parents who taught me good things and still do, and if I do something BAD, they forgive me and help me out to cover that badness with goodness;
 i am grateful that i have a GOOD(if not great) brother who is responsible, kind, respects women, and loves me more than my own good...loves me so much that thinking of him gives an ache in my heart....loves me so much that he would rather get hurt himself than see tears in my eyes...
 i am grateful that i have TWO best friends- Arpita and Sushmita who are so GOOD that the BAD ppl disappear in the aura of their love and support... i couldnt have imagined two better ppl as my best frnds...

though my best friends are not there with me all the time, especially at school where i need them the most, i am grateful that i have sattu, rashmi and to some extent suranjana who are GOOD ppl through and through. and it doesnt matter to me wht they think abt me, i will love them and respect them for ever in my life.

and me- i dunno which category i come into cuz i have many flaws but i know this much- i certainly wont come into the BAD category, cuz however short tempered i may be, however rude, however disgusting(sometimes) i am always considerate within. even for the people who leave no occasion to hurt me.
but there is this thing- GOOD people dont HATE anyone and really I never wanted to hate anyone but i am left no choice.
but im sure the thing will pass in a few months...if not years...cuz im not a person who holds grudges forever but im not that great to forgive and forget too...
but then- i never claimed to be GREAT... just GOOD... :):):)