Saturday, December 25, 2010

The blanket of nature

Bees come buzzing their tune
spreading their hum under the moon
I sit and stare at the heavenly sight
the beauty of nature in the sight

the flowers sigh as the day ends
their petals close, their stems bend
seeking the earth that holds them strong
the very origin to which they belong

The glittering stars play hide and seek
amidst the clouds from where they peek
the blanket of serenity over the vales
the aura of whose beauty never pales

The gentle wind ruffles my hair
the breeze and its breath making a pair
spreading their fragrance so sweet
that my awestruck heart skips a beat

I sigh with pleasure in the cold
as the arms of nature have me in their hold
My eyes droop as the night croons
a lullaby so magical that i sleep to the tune

Friday, December 17, 2010

A realization...

“When my time comes, forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some, reasons to be missed…
Don’t resent me, and when you’re feeling empty;
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest..”
Most of us are familiar with the above lines which are taken from a beautiful song by Linkin park- the heartthrob band of many; including me. The first time I heard this song, I was so overcome with an emotion I couldn’t place that I learnt the entire song and for the next two months, my mother had to endure me singing it every time I opened my mouth.
                                Many years later the same words were thrown at me with such an expressive note, that I could understand the actual meaning of the beautiful words…..”When you’re feeling empty, keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest”- this was precisely what I friend of mine had texted me when I had said that I was feeling empty. Though that person always somehow manages to make me forget my troubles, this was the best way anyone could have reassured me.  When I got the message, I thought it was a poem and there was more to it. I scrolled down but it had ended there. Reading the familiar lines again, the mechanism of my brain clicked together, the words strung together and I realized that it were those very lines I used to sing on the top of my voice. But this realization was nothing. Realizing the true meaning of the words, when I saw myself in the same pretext was more numbing. I sat there, the words sinking into every cell of my body; and surprisingly I felt hopeful again. That tiny part of me that never wants to die sprang up again and set me to work. My heart brushed away me head aside and together we collaborated to write this small article that truly comes straight from my heart. The first happy one I have written since ages. The first one I actually wrote smiling; not the fake smile, but that uplifting of the corners of my lips that spread tingling warmth all through my frozen body. Maybe it was the feeling behind the words, or it was the meaning behind them, or it was the love behind them; I don’t really know. But they made me smile. And when I came running inside the house, only to listen to the song again, I felt tears in my eyes….  Those few lines made me content of the fact that there was at least one person, however far who was bothered when I was unhappy and did all that was possible to make my face lit up again. And this silent wordily presence is more than what I wanted.
                             It made me finally realize that maybe I have made a few true friends in this changing, false world after all. And there is only one thing I can say…. THANK YOU.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

My wish impossible

I wish there was someone,
with whom i could talk carefree..
instead of the daily conversations
I hold with the silent trees...


I wish there was someone,
to wipe my tears and make me wink..
instead of the kindly earth
that soaks my tears as I blink...


I wish there was someone,
who filled my silent heart with chatter...
instead of the sympathetic rain,
that keeps me company with its patter...


I wish there was someone,
to wake me up in the morning light...
instead of the cuckoo birds,
which come as the day shines bright...


I wish there was someone,
who tickled me to make me smile...
instead of the nodding primroses,
whose expanse can be seen from miles...


I wish there was someone,
whose breath calmed me in despair..
instead of the soothing breeze,
that comes when no one cares...


I wish there was someone,
to take away my false facade...
instead of the falling leaves,
that remind me of the identity I fake...


I wish there was someone,
to hold my hand through it all...
instead of the watchful trees,
that support me as i fall...


I wish there was someone,
to hug me me when I m cold...
instead of the mighty sun,
who envelops me in his warm folds...


I wish there was someone,
whose mere presence makes me write...
instead of my nature friends,
that never ever leave my sight...


I wish there was someone,
who inspires me to write all along the way...
instead of MOTHER NATURE,
who encourages me when my night obscures my day...
when my night obscures my day.... 



Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I find peace amidst the turmoil i feel
sitting under a shady tree
I escape from the world
going far away until i'm free..


I try to find a place
where no one can actually see
the pain issuing from my tears
which have now become a part of me...


I try to reach a serenity
where I dont have to pretend anything
my hiding place between the pages
which soak my tears as i blink...


I take away the mask
I keep wearing each day
I try to listen to my heart
giving it a chance to say...


I shed away the fake skin
like the bark shed by a tree,
to expose the delicate part
which I hope no one sees..


But the external agencies get to work
hurting me from every side
resulting in red gashes
which I cant anymore hide...


So I barr them all
every hurt, every sore
I take in all the pain
and it only keeps on getting more...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A piece that dominates my heart rather than my mind...

There is a small peculiar weed in my garden at home. I call it peculiar because of all the weeds present in there, it was the only one that caught my attention. Talking on phone with my friend, I stamped it with unduly force because I was upset at that time. I kept on rubbing it, a small part of mind disturbed about the fact that It wasn’t getting uprooted by its roots. Finally successful, I stamped on it for the last time and went inside. Two days later when I was roaming aimlessly in the garden, the previous incident flashed across my mind for no reason and just out of curiosity I went back to the same place. I could recognize the place pretty fast as I had scraped out a tiny patch in order to stamp that tiny weed. To my surprise and illogical anger, I found that weed back in place, waving its tiny head merrily in the breeze (this was my imagination...). I felt angry for no reason. I stamped it back again this time with added force. I almost laughed at my stupidity. A small piece of plant nagging my mind. I already had wasted so much of my precious time behind it. I went back inside my home, and this time the incident was still in my memory and my freaky gut-sense said that this wasn’t something that was going to be over soon. The next morning, before I went to the school, I made it a compulsion to check whether that weed has met its end or not. This time there was no disappointment. I had succeeded!! Triumphant I went to the school, my mind very content and full, but my heart somehow didn’t give me peace….
                              Back at home In the afternoon, I went back into the garden and the sight that my eyes left me dumbstruck. That insignificant weed was back in place, not happy and smiling this time, a bit drooping but still there. A fierce rage struck me and I lifted my foot again but an emotion stronger than rage struck me and I sat there with a thump. I gazed at the poor plant, feeling so ashamed of myself that my eyes filled with tears.  They spilled on the earth, the soft soil absorbing my pain, my guilt, my sin…..my cruelty struck me dumb and the emotions that whirl winded around me were staggering. Why was I so intent on stamping the tiny weed to death when it sprouted back again and again with the ardent desire to live??? Why was I so bothered by the existence of the tiny, insignificant plant that had absolutely no connection with my life??? Was I actually so guileless that I was worried about the happiness of the things around me???

And the answers I got were more staggering. It wasn’t other people or people around me I was stamping. It was a part of me and me alone. That part that endlessly tried to have an existence of its own…  That part that sprouted back again and again despite my attempts to stamp it to death…… That part that held the softest, most sensitive and most EXPRESSIVE part of me… that part that chose to WRITE its feelings... to tell people how much importance they held in my life… how much they meant for me… but most important of all what writing actually meant to me….

I won’t say more. I have already said a lot. But hopefully the message is reached. I act according to the will of my mind, which is influenced by the people around me. But the will of my heart is elsewhere. Its happiness isn’t merely with flashing teeth and laughing at stupid jokes. And I was stamping out that will. I do succeed sometimes… like I thought I had succeeded in stamping that weed out. But that part grows back, time and again and that budding head trying to come out gives me so much pain. And any amount of external force can’t subside it. Can’t kill it. This is a message to all the people around me who think I write to show-off. Who think I am silly to take English seriously. Who make fun of my poems. Who find out dirty meaning of the lines I write with so much love and passion. I might laugh outwardly with you people, stamping my inner part, but it does come out. And when it does, its in this way……..

Sunday, December 12, 2010

For my friends

I’m feeling cold,
Come closer and hold…
I’m shaking with fright,
Come and make my world bright…
I’m searching for light,
Come within my sight….
I’m burning in pain,
Come and soothe my strain…
I’m tired of this despair,
Come and make my life fair…
I’m broken with tears,
Come and speak in my ears….
I’m at the height of my sorrow,
Come and inspire me to live for tomorrow…
I’m solitary in my thoughts,
Come and tell me its time that I fought…
I’m crying in the endless night,
Come and spread your visage so bright..
I’m searching for a friend,
Come and tell me that you are there till the end…


Sunday, December 5, 2010

Combined poetry...(By Kirti and Mohit)

Bitter memories are like tough stains,
On our hearts blanket,
We wash them but they stay,
And cause un wanted pain.

A friend tries to cover that stain...
Struggles hard to diminish that pain...
But sometimes the attempt can be in vain...
And the desperation drives you insane...

When bitterness stains our hearts,
Drive us crazy and we just wanna tear apart,
A part of us is destroyed,
And our soul distorted.

I try to put broken pieces back...
But I feel something lacks,
The void always remains inside...
Your heart is bitter, though you try to hide...

When something inside you is gone,
And you dont know what it was.
You feel as if you're hollow,
And creat a shield so that none can your heart, follow.

The hollow void makes you burn...
Your heart screams and your insides churn...
But the pain merely drives you inside...
And throughout your life it never subsides...

The pain become a part of your being,
It feels as if its always been.
Your soul maimed,
Your heart forever changed.

To the love of my life

When the tides of pain wreck my heart
the force and upbeat slamming my dreams,
when the celestial darkness refuses to part
eclipsing my hopes, issuing my screams
                   Sweet pen, ensue your glory upon my head,
                   apply your calming balm to stop my pain spread......


Whenever the night fall brings despair
despondence shrouding my insides,
when life begins to seem so unfair
that my tormenting soul never subsides
                  Sweet pen, extract my thoughts and let them flow
                  so that their existence revives me from the blow.....


Should disappointment knock at my door
when sorrow beckons to seize my heart
so helpless that i flail on the floor
as it keeps a watchful eye in case i dart
                  Sweet pen, entangle my threads from the dark
                  and wave your magic wand to light a spark...


Whenever the ones i hold most dear
lead me to a pain worse than death
when all my sides envelop with fear
numbing my speech and stopping my breath
                  Sweet pen, erase the bonds that make me weak
                  and take my writing to the highest peak....


And as the sun rises over the vales
unearthly beauty spreading its realm,
brighten my words so the darkness pales
despondence, despair, dejection replaced by calm
                  Sweet pen, do the honor of resurrecting my soul
                  and guide me unhindered to my goal....

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Emptiness....

My eyes were like the withered petals
drooping and dead against their might
when you came like a lively breeze
teaching them to stand and fight.....

My heart was like a shy flower
retreating into its own gloom
when you like a beautiful bird
came in there to make it bloom...

My thoughts were like a distant sea
unfathomable and unreachable
when you came like a high tide
scattering them towards the people....

My dreams were like an empty pool
struggling to break away the bonds
when you came like the facets of light
making them bold and strong.....

My entire being was incomplete
without your hand to guide me through
your thoughts and words make me up
and these verses are completely true.... 

My tormenting heart....

Morning awaits clear and bright
but my heart somehow reclines in fright
the danger unforseen looms in the way
then how can I be happy and gay?

Pristine flakes cover my path
but i think about the aftermath
my heart warns about the thorns in there
guiding me to go elsewhere...

My feet bleed, staining the snow
I try to walk, though i know
the correct path is way behind
the confusion almost makes me blind...

I stagger as I find my way
indecisin is clear down the bay
I ignore my desire, struggling inside
waiting in agony till it subsides...

My mind smiles at its gain
but my heart chokes with pain
internal anguish makes me realise
that I've not taken a step wise...

Throttling your dreams makes you die
burning ur tears so you cant even cry
better stay happy pusuing your dreams
then regret every time your heart screams....

Saturday, November 27, 2010

I know what i am....

I know what i am.... but the realisation sometimes comes before me in such startling and sudden ways that im left blank and expressionles. As i sit and type here, my mind is overflowing with so many emotions that they are threatning to break and come out. But it will leave me exposed, vulnerable, baring the real kirti; hidden behind all the merry facade. I need someone badly, someone who will understand me completely, hug me, assure me everything ia all right. I know that wordscant soothe me, but knowing that there is someone who loves me, cares for me, is enough... more than enough.... But at the end of the day i stand where i was before. Alone. Its weird to say and write all this when i am surrounded by wonderful parents, loving brother and loyal friends; but in such moments i feel as if i am completely bereft and solitary...

Friday, November 19, 2010

The hidden me.......

I come across something and see;
an image that looks like a distorted me...
Amazingly similar, shockingly free;
Full of delight,humming like a bee....

It makes me wonder, 
who is she?
brimming with life,
perfectly resembling me!!

Do I stand before a cracked mirror
and see myself in a new form?
or is it my reflection in water 
which due ripples seems like a wriggling worm.

or is she a twin of mine?
suddenly sprouted from a place unknown;
having the same round face, same brown eyes
and the same confident tone....

whoever she is,whatever her source
she is a complete opposite of me;
where I'm a struggler, she is a survivor
a person who i would desire to be.

Then I think in a different way
and come to realise that she,
hold the aspirations that lay
deep inside me....

That we are the same, but we play the game
in two different ways
head and tail of the same coin,
having the same thing to say...

She is the hidden me
peeping and trying to come out
a person i can be, only if i strive hard
and this is what the story is all about.....

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Magical Hands....

I drew the imprint of my hand,
every detail,every entity of my fingers;
then looked back to admire my work,
when i learnt a lesson that still lingers...


The irregular length of my fingers,
not only taught me about the ups and downs;
but also gave the lesson of how
5 diverse things live united without a frown...

My smooth pink nails said the story
of how they don't even complain,
when a part of them grown in excess
is curtailed away causing a bit of pain....


The changing lines of my palm
assured me of the fact-
that even destiny can be changed,
if life is dealt with courage and tact....


The way I could twist my hand
unveiled an important value from its cover,
of how even the hardest of bones
can bend before your will power...


Lastly the small unnoticed mole
put forth its own tale,
The way to life is built by small successes
so NEVER, ever be afraid to fail....

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Following a train of my thought.....

                         "Life has become so meaningless that sometimes i wonder the reason for which we are alive."These were the precise words posted by a friend of mine on Facebook-the social networking site.Though that person became normal again in a few hours; this comment made me ponder into the depths of why an 11th class student would go to such extents of making such a comment. It is true that in moments of fury,frustration,sorrow, we feel like giving up everything and crouch into a dark corner to unburden our heart.And in a teenager's life such moments are numerous.But the credit goes to those people who try to find a positive side of every such situation.I know this sounds very philosophical and bookish but it is true.And when you have your closest friends in such times,the ordeal becomes much easier.
                           But many times one becomes such an introvert in such situations that even the idea of sharing becomes repulsive.There are many dark corners in our heart that don't want the light of attention to be focussed on them.To eliminate the effect of that shadow,we find refuge in different sources-some in music,some in physical exertion,some in net surfing and some,like me-in writing.When you have the reassurance that the blank pages of your diary are waiting for you to hammer down all your feelings,you feel an odd sense of comfort.
                          For me writing is the only escape when life becomes filled with any of the two conflicting emotions-joy and sorrow.Writing helps you to reflect,to think-about your actions,your opinions and your ideas.And the unlimited patience with which your heart,your head,pen and paper coordinate helps you to find solace in even the most difficult situations.
                         You'll find it surprising to find  that many inventive and ingenious creations flow out of your pen in such situations.And then when you pause in your reflectiona and look upon your work,you feel satisfied,even proud; and this very satisfaction helps you to see the positive side of everything.Writing in cases of extreme nerves can also help.For example if you make an entry:
                                    "" Dear Diary,
                                                       My head is just bursting with tension. I dunno how my exam will go tomorrow.I have already read these-these chapters and I need to revise these-these in the morning/night""
 Then you are automatically letting your mind make an assessment of what is left and how to complete it.
                 Writing in extreme situations can also lead to beautiful poetry or an article that even amazes you about your capability-but only if you let your heart shake hands with your hand.So next time when you are lonely in your thoughts try penning your emotions down and see how immense is your relief.
Pen and paper can become your best friends in life,as they have become mine-but only if you give yourself a chance............
                          

My eyes-the truth within

My eyes hold dark pools of nostalgia,
sneak into them and see the images;
but be careful not to disturb them,
for tarnished memories wipe away the lovely faces.....


My eyes hold infinite emotions,
each fabricating its own tale;
but do not try to play with them,
for each hurt makes them fade and pale.....


My eyes hold the thread of dreams,
each one having a colorful hue;
but these loose ends scatter everywhere,
the ones that get knotted are very few......


My eyes hold the mirror of truth,
crystal clear and once so bright;
but the shadow of fear is lurking behind,
making them close and recline in fright.......


My eyes hold the key to my heart,
every evidence of life hidden inside;
but facing the world and its harsh norms,
it is better if I let them hide.....